Running, Returning.

I just got in from a run. I haven't ran outside since January 2009. It's something I've been thinking about a lot lately. The awesome weather was a sign that tonight was the night to unleash the heel-toe-express on suburbia.
It was perfect running weather. No wind. Slightly cold. No witnesses.
I started uphill. I haven't seen my jogging shadow in forever. It felt good, got me fired up a bit. Half way up the hill the fire faded and reality started throat fucking me. Cold air builds lava inside lungs. Feel the burn bitch.
I chugged on. I made it to the top of the hill and turned right at the lights. There was no sign of ice. My tender tendon smiled under the heavy sock.
My tank was on empty. I fooled myself. I felt too good out of the gate. I was wilting 5 minutes in. I chuggalugged on.
My left calf felt like a tennis ball in a vice. A pop can traveling through a black hole. It was definitely caving in on itself. I tried to not think about it. I had a decent mix on the ipod.
I was running at such a slow pace. I might as well have been under water, that's what it felt like. I must have looked absolutely ridiculous. People who passed me in their cars must have thought "why is he fucking walking like that?". Oh well.
A mile down the road I turn right at the next set of lights. I have nothing left. My body keeps talking to me "listen beb, this is good, just shut er down and let's take this show home." "oh your tendon might be tearing, hear that? feel that? yep, the bitch is definitely tearing so you should go home and eat something high in calories". I ignore it's poisonous pleas.
I heard a dog angrily barking just off in the distance. I got flooded with fear, what if it's a rabid slut of a dog, out on the prowl looking for weak flesh? I thought to myself "damn you beast. If you come for me now I'm yours". Paranoid I kept looking over my shoulder, and that fucked with my equilibrium because i was so gassed. Shameful.
Despite how pitiful the trek was. I am happy I did not quit. I kept moving, kept stepping and kept suffering until the end. I still have it in me to suffer. This is good. This means goals will be met.